I guess fiance is better than ho on call

The wedding is only a few weeks away, dear readers, and you know what that means. Time to get my hair did, my nails pretty and my face facialized. If any of you are tuning in after some time away, I didn't suddenly get engaged or pregnant, I'm preparing for the wedding of Baby Daddy and Baby Mama (do I have to stop calling them that once it's legal?), which is, I assure you, going to be the event of the season.

I've touched before on some of my qualms about my presence at the wedding and just how the beau's family is going to explain their dirty little secret that is the child-free white girl shacked up in sin with their eldest. As it turns out, I need worry no more, for there was a flurry of phone calls shortly before I went back to Canada between Tokyo and the Great North, during one of which the beau's dad asked slash told him that I would be introduced as his fiance. At Japanese wedding receptions everyone receives a seating plan that includes each guest's name and seat location. I will be sitting at the family table on Baby Daddy's side so you know there will be trouble when some guest's eyes are cruising along the names written in kanji until they fall upon some English name written in our ugly foreign alphabet and someone is going to have some explaining to do. Namely, about just who that mysterious whitie is.

Problem solved. While still rather unorthodox, it is better to have a fiance at the wedding than a girlfriend, especially when we are talking about the chonan, or eldest son. Call me mildly cynical, but I can't help fantasizing that guests' will deem us odd for being together four years and attending the wedding of the younger brother while being unmarried ourselves. God forbid I don't get married right away and start popping out some babies. I have never been a dirty family secret before! Whatevs, if anything untoward is said, I will just point to the bride's stomach, although frankly, it will probably still be concave at that point. And really, who are we kidding - I am practically gagging for something dramatic to happen for your reading pleasure. Unfortunately for you, it is a lunch reception, which means there will probably be less time/alcohol to fuel any outbursts. I'll try my best though, promise.

As amused as I am by my new role as faux undercover fiance, I was touched when the beau related a phone conversation he'd had with his mom some weeks ago. She lamented to him that she had wanted us to get married first, not to keep things in their "natural order" (order of sons that is, not marriage then baby order), but because she's been wanting me to officially join the clan for some time now. At one point in the conversation she told the beau that she would send him money to borrow for an engagement ring, one that he would have had to select and give to me within about five days as she wanted me to have it before I went off to Canada. You see, she is concerned that my parents are concerned that I have had a boyfriend for such a long time with no immediate wedding plans. I think that is the least of my parents' worries, especially given they were together for ten years before marrying and having me. I don't think this is necessarily a cultural difference however, for I'm sure there are some of you out there that have gotten the when are you getting married/having kids pressures from family.

So there you have it. We are T minus two weeks on this joyful event and I still need to find an obiage and obijime for my kimono and a bow tie for the beau. Even if we did get married, custom dictates that wedding invitations here rarely include a plus 1, so this could be our only wedding together in Japan ever. I am determined to enjoy myself. And my ability to drink champagne.