Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Inappropriate clushes

We all have them don't we, crushes on people that aren't necessarily our usual "type" or even, dare I say, mildly attractive? I'm not sure if it's a result of low self-esteem issues or that I'm pretty much over the fucking moon when people actually talk to me here, but I have a developed a small list of crushes that I am going to share with you in this all-exclusive tell-all.

Gyoza man: this guy who runs a gyoza shop by my apartment is actually physically attractive. He is one of those very special Japanese men that can get away with (nay, should have) long hair tied back in a ponytail. Call me un-PC but he is a modern day samurai and this is fucking hot.

Smoking professional: professional at the Kaisha who is not only not typically attractive but smells like smoke. I honestly have no idea why I like doing work for him (no connotations there, please) but I seem to find him charming despite the way he shuffles down the hall in exhaustion looking as if he is about to fall over. Maybe it's because his secretary once told me he never grins at her the way he does me...

Easy cool guy professional: cute, young and well-groomed professional at the Kaisha. He does not have a dorky accent when he speaks English and speaks it with confidence. He signs his emails "Best, Kenji" and I think this is super cute and not a little cool.

Dapper professional: we weren't ever totally sure of his orientation but Other Whitie and I used to dote on this extremely well-dressed professional at the Kaisha. He makes argyle sing and looks exceptional in pink and grey. He even has a slight British accent to boot, despite being Japanese, which is so freaking cute. American accents on Japanese do not achieve this effect.

Tokyo Metro guy: he is responsible for my safety during the morning rush hour, maybe this is why I've come to crush on him. The sure and steady way his white-gloved hand points his flashlight down the train platform makes my heart flutter. He doesn't have the buffest physique, but I am a sucker for uniforms.

NHK guy: he arrives at all hours of the day, even on the weekend after the dinner hour. He little oyaji face peers up into the security screen inside my apartment waiting for me to open the door so he can charge me for NHK, something I rarely even watch. I do not open the door for him. OK, this last one is a complete lie but I couldn't help myself.

Any inappropriate crushes you'd like to share with me?


kathrynoh said...

I usually find I get inappropriate crushes about a week or so before my period so figure its hormonal.

Gyoza man sounds really hot and he has gyoza. That's got to be win!

Tokyo Moe said...

Haha. I wish I could blame my crushes on my period. Now that the weather is warmer, I am constantly distracted by men.

1. The cute waiter from Roppongi who often shares the second to last train with me. I've talked him up, and found out his apartment building is across from mine. Nice!

2. Almost every man in a uniform, from gatenki construction workers to the Tokyo Metro uniformed guys to the local police.

3. Almost every man showing too much decolletage. I can complete lose my train of thought when distracted by man-cleavage.

4. Big hair guys. Enough said, no?

I try not to fixate on individuals and find myself constantly distracted, from sporty to sumo, from chicken to daddy. Yikes!

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

kathrynoh: Interesting! There is probably only one person on that list I would want to actually do if single, but the rest just make me stammer like a schoolgirl. And also, his gyoza is amazing! I'm thinking of reappropriating the bunch-of-grapes scene and having this guy feed me gyoza while I languish on the chaise lounge.

Tokyo Moe: I can always count on you to come through :) How do you even make it to meetings on time in the summer?! I've never thought about man-cleavage before but will keep my eyes open for it from now on! One question: I get the rest, but what is "chicken"?

Apryl in Wonderland said...

hm...the adorable cashier at the 7-11 near my work. Fluffy hair with a barrette in it...probably much younger than I, but over 18...so I can cougar down in peace!

Anonymous said...

Chicken is young 'uns. Especially if they're "off the rack"

Hey ask your US readers if they know what the "bumps" are

Elaine said...

The surfer/city employee who sits across from me at Indonesian class. Also the teacher, this incredibly sexy Indonesian guy. Who cares about verbs when you have eye candy??

Jen B said...

My crush is the guy in the office who speaks to me normally, makes a point of walking across the busy office to chat with me, is happy to be seen in the street with me in the busy office district I work in. He only reaches my shoulder when I'm in flats and is about nipple height when I'm in heels, but his complete lack of fear or awkwardness never crosses over into inappropriate territory.

Also Corrine's husband, Ryota. Construction worker defending his wife against pervert with a cigarette in his hand? Crush.

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

Apryl: What does make the hair clip so enticing? I used to crush on high school boys who looked kind of hard core but then wore a big salon clip in their hair. Rarr. Haha

Anon: Thank you for enlightening me! I will try to work "bumps" into a post somewhere.

Elaine: Who cares about verbs indeed!! Where are you learning Indonesian? Interesting!

Jen B: I think this could be why I am crushing on some of these guys. I am so far from feelings of normalcy at work that the smallest gesture makes me feel so loved!
Yes, Corinne's husband sounds very knight-in-armor! I have mixed feelings about how the situation went down though if the guy is actually mentally disabled.

kathrynoh said...

The hair clips are totally cute! I've just finished watching Rookies and am wondering if Japan is the only country in the world where guys can wear cute hair clips and still be considered bad-ass delinquents!

ELSN said...

Nice post! I have a crush on the pack-a-day exhausted-looking 30-something salaryman at my company too! As well as a crush on every construction worker in tabi shoes and baggy pants drinking a beer at 4 PM on the train.

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

kathrynoh: They are certainly the only ones who can get away with it!

ELSN: Yes! Construction workers here are totally hot. They are a breath of fresh air from the glassy-eyed salarymen.