We all have them don't we, crushes on people that aren't necessarily our usual "type" or even, dare I say, mildly attractive? I'm not sure if it's a result of low self-esteem issues or that I'm pretty much over the fucking moon when people actually talk to me here, but I have a developed a small list of crushes that I am going to share with you in this all-exclusive tell-all.
Gyoza man: this guy who runs a gyoza shop by my apartment is actually physically attractive. He is one of those very special Japanese men that can get away with (nay, should have) long hair tied back in a ponytail. Call me un-PC but he is a modern day samurai and this is fucking hot.
Smoking professional: professional at the Kaisha who is not only not typically attractive but smells like smoke. I honestly have no idea why I like doing work for him (no connotations there, please) but I seem to find him charming despite the way he shuffles down the hall in exhaustion looking as if he is about to fall over. Maybe it's because his secretary once told me he never grins at her the way he does me...
Easy cool guy professional: cute, young and well-groomed professional at the Kaisha. He does not have a dorky accent when he speaks English and speaks it with confidence. He signs his emails "Best, Kenji" and I think this is super cute and not a little cool.
Dapper professional: we weren't ever totally sure of his orientation but Other Whitie and I used to dote on this extremely well-dressed professional at the Kaisha. He makes argyle sing and looks exceptional in pink and grey. He even has a slight British accent to boot, despite being Japanese, which is so freaking cute. American accents on Japanese do not achieve this effect.
Tokyo Metro guy: he is responsible for my safety during the morning rush hour, maybe this is why I've come to crush on him. The sure and steady way his white-gloved hand points his flashlight down the train platform makes my heart flutter. He doesn't have the buffest physique, but I am a sucker for uniforms.
NHK guy: he arrives at all hours of the day, even on the weekend after the dinner hour. He little oyaji face peers up into the security screen inside my apartment waiting for me to open the door so he can charge me for NHK, something I rarely even watch. I do not open the door for him. OK, this last one is a complete lie but I couldn't help myself.
Any inappropriate crushes you'd like to share with me?