Friday, November 5, 2010

but who's counting

Hello Hello Hello Hello. That is the echo heard over the internets when you've neglected your blog for um, about a year (I've been busy making sweet, sweet love to Mavis). If anything was going to lure me back in, a host with yellow hair in a questionable style is at the top of the list. That and the fact that we get to meet Baby Creepy again who has had a sudden growth spurt (and appears to either be doing a nazi salute or backhanding his mother's ta-tas).

The young host looks smoother than Kimu Taku as he responsibly whips out his cell phone and makes a flashy display of turning it off (girl boner!). I love how he sparkles with little crosses after doing his good deed for the year but am a little confused as to what they denote: cleanliness? godliness? moving sniper targets? It's all the same down in Kabukicho. It's refreshing to see the Tokyo Metro using a broader spectrum of societal characters in making their manner points, but again, it seems to me they are at the same time indicating that it is the young part-time youth that are the problem, when we know it's actually the disenfranchised salarymen, mothers with strollers and white geisha who are the real problem.

Speaking of feeling disenfranchised, I have yet again caught my secretary doling out the omiyage to every other bitch with high heels except me. She's not bad at including me in the rounds when other people's swag is getting passed from quadrant to quadrant, but in the whole time we've not been besties, I haven't once received omiyage from her. And I know she has gone somewhere at least three times, even if it was just to Disneyland or somewhere equally close ( =still within approved omiyage distance). Humor me while I remind you that I have given her furry stuffed some-would-say-cute animals not once, but a total of two times. Twice! And yet she still acts like a pigeon-stepping paranoid spook around me and thinks I won't notice when someone stops by her desk and receives omiyage from her in plain sight. I don't know what I have done to her to cause such aversion to me that I no longer ask her for help when I require it; I simply figure out how to do it myself or ask another secretary who knows how to smile naturally and convincingly. I must simply disgust her. I wish she would hurry the fuck up and get married or pregnant already so she would just quit.

Slightly unrelated, but I feel it is my duty to make a PSA to all you fancy toilet users out there: If you are reaching to push the Sound Princess and accidentally hit the bidet button instead, for god's sake DON'T jump up in surprise before hitting "off" (you: cork, toilet: bottle of champagne). Obviously this is another one of those things I came up with through sheer thought process and not actual Real Life experience.

14 comments:

kathrynoh said...

The sparkles definitely make the poster.

Tako Hostil said...

Hi! Your posts are among the best things one can read on the Internet nowadays. Indirectly, I live a similar situation here on my own non-Japanese country from time to time and, when it happens, I remember you and this great movie: Lost In Translation. Why don't you give your secretary some rice pudding next time? They love it as much as we Mexicans like sweet beans.

Sarahf said...

Thanks for the toilet tip. Glad it came from your thought process and not actual experience. ;P

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

Tako Hostil: The first time I saw Lost in Translation, I didn't really like it, but after watching it a couple more times, I've really grown to like it. "Fear and Trembling" is an excellent French movie about office life in Japan from a foreigner's perspective. Check it out if you can find a copy.

selena said...

Beautifully written, as always, and almost makes me want to dust off one of the old rusty hunks in my back yard! Then I get lazy and jump on the scooter instead. I need just a little more motivation...

Generic Jen B said...

I read that Fear and Trembling book. It was the author's actual experience wasn't it? Amazing. Demoted from office worker to toilet cleaner.

Thought of you today: SP was too short. 6 seconds. What were they thinking?! Had to hit it three times. Hate that.

Anonymous said...

I thought I'd just put this here: Japanese artist Betamax DC - http://bit.ly/cHGmcm (uses one of those posters as album cover)

Apryl in Wonderland said...

I have thought long and hard on this Mr/Mrs Creepy situation...

I think My Creepy is just a socially awkward otaku type. Sweet, but no social skills. Also, by his general posture and choice of mate (current Mrs. Creepy), I surmise that his upbringing was by a mentally unbalanced mother - very strict, with possible forays in to sexual abuse of her young son.

In all likelihood, he had to take the place of his father at home. Dad either spent too much time at the office, followed by recreational time with the mistress. Or he abandoned the family all together.

As Mr. Creepy aka Abused Son, got older, he found solace with his action figures...but also apparently met an older woman, now Mrs. Creepy, during his student days. Probably his misguided, but understandable desire for a nurturing mother figure, was the impetus for his relationship with a woman not old enough to be his mother - but certainly a good 12 years older.

As for her, what prompted her attraction to our wayward otaku boy?

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

selena: A scooter you say?! Fierce! I don't think even Mavis could compete if I had the keys to a scooter...

Jen B: Was the book well-written? I've only seen the movie but loved it. I guess instead of complaining about omiyage I should thank my stars they haven't made me scrub the Princess's cave!

Apryl: You really have thought long and hard about this! An age difference is an interesting plot twist...I really don't know what they were thinking giving her a baby...

Apryl in Wonderland said...

She faked that pregnancy with gel "baby belly" prosthetics to keep Mr Creepy from leaving when he started to feel all "Maggie May."

Apryl in Wonderland said...

Forgot to mention, that as the fake pregnancy progressed, she made some deal with a pregnant woman in China - and adopted the baby via black market.

All in an effort to keep Mr.Creepy from leaving.

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

Apryl: How very Angelina of her. Maybe we will get more glimpses into this sordid story line as time progresses. Maybe she will leave the baby on the train with a "free to a good home" note before jaunting off into the sunset with on of the young hunks (ew hate that word) we have seen lately.

kiwimusume said...

I love how he sparkles with little crosses after doing his good deed for the year but am a little confused as to what they denote: cleanliness? godliness? moving sniper targets?

Vampire?

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

kiwimusume: Love!!!