Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Non-Twitter tweet

If I had Twitter like all the cool kids, at approximately 8:53 this morning mine would have read: Almost killed a salaryman this morning.

Just one of those super fun mornings that had me seeing red before I even made it in the elevator at work. Some of us are better than others at coping with, shall we say, some of the difficulties and frustrations of living in Japan. I like to think I have been on the up and up for the most part lately, enjoying life and working hard towards future plans and more often than not forgetting that I actually live in Japan, which may sound strange but it's possible and doesn't involve speaking only English and going for beers at Heartland. All that high and mighty shit went right out the proverbial window this morning when the monsoon gods conspired against me before I even set foot out the door.

It started with me getting almost shoved off the sidewalk by people's umbrellas or into those fucking dirt patches they are trying to grow something in spaced evenly along the pavement. Even had one of the old "I'm going to stop right in my tracks and make you step off the sidewalk into the street or into a sea of people going the opposite direction" technique pulled on me. I say let's stop encouraging Japanese women to procreate, there isn't even enough space on the fucking sidewalk for me to get to work and contribute to saving Japan's economy. How are we going to support all these potential future children?! By the time I was practically making love to the wall along the subway stairs because I almost couldn't make it down into my station, I was throwing the lowest insults out at people right and left (silently of course and with an intensiveness only my green eyes can emanate) and conjuring up every petty and tear jerking thing that I had been ignoring or holding onto over the past couple months that those salary peeps are lucky I haven't sharpened the point of my umbrella lately. Jokes. But seriously I was so frustrated and upset and my heels were pooling with water. Boo fucking hoo I know but living here I am sometimes reduced to the temperament of a child on the verge of a major tantrum and can do nothing but hurl petty insults, albeit from the inside of my own head. Living in the financial district has its downsides what can I say? I might have to hire an escort just to get me in the station every morning. I'm happy to say it's no longer raining, and outside it is balmy and pleasant. Almost sweet. I've just done a lap around the Imperial Palace and am ready to do battle again tomorrow.


JIFF said...

You should get twitter like all the cool kids and some of the not so cool, I'd follow you.

Japan only need women to have offspring if they want to keep their status as world's second largest economy. Do you think they'd like that.

I loved this entry, specially the part where you add your grain of salt to keep Nihon's economy afloat.

RRabano said...

It happen. I'll have my posse drive of the bad Karma.

Anonymous said...

"Boo fucking hoo I know but living here I am sometimes reduced to the temperament of a child on the verge of a major tantrum and can do nothing but hurl petty insults, albeit from the inside of my own head." Wow. couldn't have said it better...only I've known to go a little further occasionally but when I'm being a good gaijin I'm child throwing tantrums...
keep your head up and keep up the good work! ganbarimasyou ne

jellybeanzkelly said...

You should get twitter! As long as you update it. Cowgirl seems to have given up on it. =(

And yes, the rains have come. I hate this time of year. My only consolation is when it rains it sometimes cools down. The cheap f*ck of a principal STILL refuses to use the a/c.

Beat the hos down with your umbrella!!!

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

JIFF: Thanks for stopping by. I do my best to add my grain of rice to the economy here :)

RRabano: That looks like it would work!

goingloco: Thanks for the kind comment, glad to know I'm not alone in my occasional rages!

jellybeanzkelly: I can barely keep up on FB let alone Twitter!! I will remember to beat the hos down next time