Tuesday, June 24, 2008
安 I was out on Saturday for a dear friend's going away party. We started out at a restaurant bar where the beau's friend works because she asked to have it there and he gave us a good all-you-can-drink deal as a favour to me/the beau. I haven't been out with a group of foreigners to any kind of establishment offering all-you-can-drink since I was a student here. I'm not above it, that's not the point, but I don't go out with the aim of getting sloshed anymore and if I do get drunk it's on alcohol that was paid for by the glass not on a how much I can consume in two hours basis.
I should have known things were going to get hectic when the guys started talking about how much they would need to consume to make it worth their 2500 yen (not much) and that because our final destination Muse is pricey, they would need to make the most out of it. Bottom line is I was embarrassed and mortified by the end of it all. There ended up being about 25 of us and there were guys and girls who were ordering 6 drinks at a time! I felt so bad for our bartender friend, I think he was just as surprised as I was. The group was a mix of teachers and visitors to Japan and I understand teachers don't make a whole lot, but there is a difference between pinching pennies and being downright cheapskate gluttons. Maybe I'm turning Japanese but I couldn't believe that despite the fact that they knew the bartender was a friend, they treated him like some lackey at an izakaya ordering several rounds of drinks before the ones they were drinking had even been touched. Maybe it isn't a Japanese-Western thing, maybe it's just you either have social decorum or you don't.
I love my friend but I couldn't believe how things had turned out with her friends and I couldn't apologize enough when I swung by the bar again after dancing at Muse. If you can call it dancing. What happened to having space where you can actually bust a move?! The most I could do on Saturday was bop up and down it was so crowded which frustrated me so much I left early. I hadn't been out dancing in forever and I had so looked forward to a good ass shaking but it just wasn't meant to be. What happened to the days when there was dancing at least once a week?!
That aside I'm not sure what I'm going to do without my friend here. With her down I'm basically at zero again. I have a couple "friends" here but we're not good friends, I can't call them up anytime to hang out and I don't even want to. I find as I go up in my twenties the more I realize who true friends are-the pick up where you left off friends. There will always be friends, acqaintences and people you click with on some level but the real friends are the ones you want to see any time and who you don't have to watch what you say with. It may sound pretentious but I can't help but just write people off who I don't really click with these days-I'd honestly rather spend my time alone than hang out with people just to be around others. I bet you're thinking beggars can't be choosers right? Well even if that is the case I have really learned what it's like to be alone (and lonely sometimes) these last couple of years in Tokyo and I don't mind spending time by myself. Still though, I do see friends together when I'm out and about and can't help but feel envious that I don't have any good friends here. Or I'll meet someone who seems like a potential keeper but they already have friends and don't have room or time for more. That's the thing though, it takes time to become good friends and I don't have that kind of time. It seems adults don't have that kind of time and I keep wondering if I'm ever going to meet someone in Tokyo who I can really call my friend. I need someone now!
I went to school with the friend who is leaving when we were 13/14 and I haven't lived in the same country as her since that time. There is something so special about old friends like that, the ones who knew you at your dorkiest, when you were all awkward and innocent. I saw her again when I was 18 and then last year when she moved to Tokyo. We've been meeting weekly since. I will probably never live in the same country as her again after this, after finally taking for granted us being together again. I'm going to miss you K!!!