Thursday, December 10, 2009

Postcard from the Kaisha: Bathroom Edition

I've been peed on at the Kaisha less times than I have fingers and it surprises me every time. Before you start thinking I work for kabushiki kaisha Goruden Shawaa, I don't mean literally, or figuratively either, but I am at a loss for what to call a situation where the Sound Princess isn't summoned to the party. I have become such a priss that I think it's positively scandalous when one of the woman in my office doesn't mask the sound of her pee with an electronic recording of gushing water. I'm surely not alone.

Most time I don't see the culprit, so I can't be sure whether it's sheer laziness or whether a new clause has been written into our Kaisha Work Rules stating that invocation of the Princess is optional when the lonely whitie is the only other person in the bathroom. I can tell you this, it certainly isn't a mistake on their part for on an almost daily basis the sound of my heels hitting the bathroom tile causes some unsuspecting Secretary to turn on the Princess in a hurry, mid-pee. One of the women who takes such liberty around me is the same one who purposely closed the door to the Kaisha after her knowing I was right behind. You know what this means don't you? I'm thinking that visiting the bathroom at the Kaisha these days sans Princess is the new snub.

While we're on the topic of bathrooms, I made the somewhat alarming discovery this week that some Secretaries use the bidet function of the bathrooms at the Kaisha! At home, yes, coupled with a pre-warmed toilet seat it can be quite delightful but who wants to do it at work?! I wish I hadn't made this discovery dear readers, but I can't help that my ears were assaulted by the low rumbling hum of the bidet motor followed by the gentle sound of shooting water, aiming for its mark. In my haste, I once pressed the button summoning the bidet instead of the Princess, and you can bet there was water on the floor after that. I even delayed my exit from the stall, fearing someone would think I was actually using it!

Another day, another bidet. Another insight into one of many neuroses.

8 comments:

Sarahf said...

For some reason, I find the butt washing facility slightly unhygenic in a public toilet. You're not the only one with neuroses.

Tornadoes28 said...

I accidentally pressed the bidet button on one of those toilets at my in-laws house and got quite a surprise.

Jen B said...

You DON'T use the bidet at work?! But it keeps things fresh!

As long as you wash your hands properly BEFORE you touch your hair or start rummaging through your bag, unlike a lot of otherwise immaculate looking ladies I see when I go to restrooms (have you noticed that too?), then ANYTHING GOES IN THE CUBICLE. Except not using the Sound Princess perhaps.

Erin said...

But doesn't the bidet motor-nozzle thingy get sanitized when it is retracted? I'm under the impression that it is...which kind of puzzled me anyway since it didn't touch...you know...skin...

Tornadoes28 said...

It may not touch skin but the washing probably falls back onto the nozzle.

Kevin said...

I really don't get it. Mask your pee noises with the Princess while at the same time calling attention to the fact that you are peeing and using the Princess 'cause its so damn loud. At least at my kaisha... Can hear the damn thing 50 paces from the toilet. Is there volume control on those things?

Sandra said...

I don't like when I hear the bidet thing going on at work, either. Have you ever looked at one of those? Not. Clean. At least in our office.

Green-Eyed Geisha said...

Tornadoes28 - How close are you with your in-laws? :)

Sarahf and Erin - They do self clean after use but I still feel a bit wary about something coming OUT of a public toilet at me!!

JenB - I can't believe I am behind the curve with the using of the bidet at work!!! I may have to reconsider my position. I agree that it is a fantastic invention but as I said above, shooting water out of a public toilet frightens me a tad.

Kevin - I KNOW!!! The worst is when a woman can't get her business done within the alloted Princess time and has to keep pressing the button...makes it a little obvious! And yes, there is volume control.