It could be said that I am becoming obsessed with this seemingly innocuous button that spews forth the sound of rushing water to cover any embarrassing sounds during my toilette. But you would be too if you had to concentrate with every fibre of your being to ensure that you got all your business done during the Sound Princess's run time. For reals, I have to either pee really quickly before the sound stops or press it a second time to extend my window of safe pee time. There is added stress when things are taking a little longer and there are other occupied stalls - I have to constantly reassess whether to press the button again or whether I can get it all done before the sound runs out. I don't want to be one of those girls who keeps renewing the SP, because that would give it all away wouldn't it. I know how I look at other ladies when they come out of a stall after extending their safe time more than twice or having just had a one-on-one coochie spa session with the bidet feature. Some women feel so paranoid I can actually hear them increasing the SP volume once it gets going. Yes, gentlemen, you can turn the volume up. You can also yank frantically on the toilet paper roll to add to the symphony being conducted in your stall. The latter technique is most often applied when I first step foot on the tiled bathroom floor, alerting some other toilet-goer to the fact that she is no longer alone. It's almost guaranteed that the moment my heel hits tile some previously solo toiletter is pulling on her toilet paper roll for dear life.
Today I have an SP headache. It could just be left over from an intense session at Dan last night (ladies in Tokyo, try this!) but some days I can't handle the cacophony of faux rushing water. It's not just the sound either, but the creeping exhaustion that comes after constantly worrying about whether my toilette sounds are being fully covered. On days like this I turn down the volume on my SP or I forgo it altogether, piggybacking some other woman's SP, which is all fine and dandy until it runs out and I am caught out mid-pee. It's like hanging off the edge of a fucking cliff. Thank god we all wear heels because if the warning tap tap tap of our soles didn't signal the need to employ the SP, we would have a serious problem on our hands.